This is it

After a long time struggling with not being satisfied with my hair, locking and unlocking I finally cut it all off. I love it! I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. I feel great. When I cut it this low many years ago I struggled with feeling unfeminine, but I don't feel like that now at all. Perhaps because I am a little older I have more of an understanding of what it really is to be a woman, and for me right now, my hair length has nothing to do with it.

My daughter laughed at me when she saw me. :-) That doesn't bother me. She said I look like a boy wearing girl stuff. That doesn't bother me. She is 6, and through me, she will come to understand that even if she doesn't have long hair, she's still a girl.

My husband loves it. My hair was this length when we were first dating, and it reminds him of that time. :-D

A few pics for the curious

I just snapped a few pics. I am really not paying much attention to my hair. I can wash and go, which I love. I latch to maintain, which I do sporadically when I'm bored, not all at once. I'm taking it very easy. I don't really remember when I started, but I can see from a previous blog that I said I started in April or May, so this is around 6 months. I moved to North Carolina in September, and I'm still getting used to the differences here, even though it is something I really wanted to do. I miss my friends. I'm studying Spanish constantly, reading, listening, writing or talking in Spanish for much of my free time. I work from home now, instead of going in to an office. I spend a little more time with my daughter now, I'm with her after school, so I'm happy about that, even though sometimes I do want a break. I still want to lose weight. Nothing bad is happening in my life now, but I'm really not in the best of moods these days. I'm just glad that hair is not something I have to worry about.

She's baaaaaaack

Hi to all my wonderful followers. I sometimes wonder why you guys follow me -- I don't blog much at all, and I don't think that what I have to say is all that interesting. :-/

So I started my locks again. *sheepish grin* I did do the styles I wanted to do, but in the end, I guess loose hair is really not my thing, I found myself not wanting to do anything to my hair other than just wash it, and when your hair is loose, you have to do something to it after you wash it. It's been a few months since I started my locks. I don't even know when I started them exactly, sometime in April or May. I think I'm less uptight this time, I'm not continuously wondering when I'm going to be locked. I'm taking things a lot less seriously. I started with twists, and am latching to maintain.

It's been real

So I did it ... I took my dreadlocks out. I just knew that I really wanted to take them out, and have been wanting to take them out for months, and those voices just wouldn't go away. It wasn't that I hated my hair. I didn't. I loved my locks. I just wanted something else more. And it feels different this time. I didn't feel this desperation after my hair was out, this feeling of "Why did I do this?" "Not again!" I'm happy with my choice. And I feel I learned so much this time, went through my feelings of dissatisfaction with self, impatience, and caring about what other people thought about me. And it's only been a few days, but I am enjoying my afro. Right now, I'm not sure if I will try to lock again. My original reason for locking is that for me it was a low maintenance way to have long hair, but as my hair got to a length I was happy with, I realized that I'd rather loose long hair. So I will patiently try to get that loose long hair that I want.

For some reason, my daughter calls my new hair "rock star" hair. I have no idea what that means. But hey, she's 4. (ETA: I finally found out what rock star hair is. She watches Noggin / Nick Jr. The Roots perform a song on there, lol.). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mLtdHQeIZA

Thanks to everyone who supported me in this journey, especially Tam, Q (Kay), QueenLi, and Carmennc. It really meant a lot to me.

For more detail on what I did: I started in the back, I cut each lock to about 4 inches, then picked the rest out. I used the end of a lapel pin to pick the locks out. After a certain point, I started wearing a ponytail that gradually started looking thinner as the days went by, lol. I finished everything up this weekend. I had over 180 locks, and it took 3 weeks. I estimate that I spent an average of 20 minutes on each lock, which comes out to 60 hours total. Whew! After I had all the locks removed, I trimmed my own hair so it would be even all over by measuring with my fingers (kinda hard to explain). I now have 6 inches of hair when stretched, which I think is a great length for me right now. It's not too short (I eventually want to cornrow my hair, my technique needs work) but it's not too long to be overwhelming (I haven't combed my hair in almost 3 years).

For now I plan to try to grow my hair out. I'd love bra strap length hair if I can take care of it. I also would love to have relatively low maintenance natural hair, we'll see how that works out for me.

Please forgive the quality of the pics. They were taken with my phone (my regular camera's battery is kaput, and I can't find the charger).

Contemplating ...

For maybe a month or two I've been really wanting to take out my locks. This is why:

• My hair always gets in my way (e.g. during certain "activities")
• I want to do cornrows, and because I started my hair by just washing, I don't have nice parts.
• I miss my afro.

Why I haven't done it yet:

• My hair is long enough to flip it. I flip it all around when I do pole dancing or floor work.
• I took out two locks. Each lock took around 1 hour to remove, and the resulting hair was only around 6 inches long. Talk about shocking. Why is this? My hair was 10-12 inches when I started my locks.
• I am not adept at styling my hair. I want cornrows, but to do them neatly like I would want them would take forever. And I am allergic to hair stylists.
• I miss my afro, but I do not miss the time taking care of it entails.

I am really low maintenance. I think this is the real reason I haven't done anything. Maybe I just need to style my hair again. Or try cornrows with my locks. Something exciting that looks good.

More pics, and no longer freeform

So, I've latched my hair 3 or so times since November. I no longer consider myself freeform. I did it for a few reasons: boredom with my hair; got tired of separating my hair after every wash, but not wanting my hair to join together; and wanting to see a little more of the length that I have. My hair is still very low maintenance, I just wanted to do a little more to my hair.

Also, I had hair that appeared all along the front hairline. I eventually decided to make new baby locks by latching the hair together. That worked fine, and they are on their way. The only thing is that since they are super short compared to the rest of my hair, they stick up at the most inopportune times, lol.

Pipe Cleaner Curls

I did pipe cleaner curls on my hair and decided to share. Trying to stave off the boredom, because I usually don't do anything to my hair. I LOVE it in person, in pics, not so much. Sorry for the picture quality, these pics were taken with my phone.