Saturday, December 22, 2007

What styles can be done with new freeform locks?

So, what styles can be done with new freeform locks? Not many that I know of. I can only think of wearing headbands, wraps, or scarves, so I wanted to see how I look in a few.

Don't really care for that tan color.

I have a few scarves I have that I may wear also.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

2 1/2 months: Buds, Separation, and Thoughts

Well, it's been 2 1/2 months, and my hair is definitely locking. I took a few pics straight in from work.

That pic of the back of my head is cool to me, didn't know my hair looked like that from behind. Here are a couple of pics of some baby locks.

It's cool to me watching them develop. That second pic may look like unlocked hair, but the bottom 1/2 of that one definitely feels different than the top unlocked portion. I also took a few pictures of my hair wet after being shampooed. I think it's easier to tell that my hair is locking when it's not completely dry.

After I shampoo my hair, I separate it. Here is how my hair looks before it's separated.

I feel kind of torn about separating the hair. It really feels like I am stressing it too much. Sometimes I feel that if my hair were shorter, or I were separating into larger sections it would be easier. I feel like it's taking too long to separate the hair. Looking at that last picture, I can see why sometimes it seems crazy, like I don't even know where to start. I didn't have this problem previous times I tried to lock my hair via freeform. I just waited for buds to form, and separated from there. This time, I am trying to separate the coils in my hair, and it's not always easy.

Also, I can't really imagine myself with long thin locks, I think that larger locks would look better long. But with short hair, I imagine that smaller locks would look better. I don't know, I'm confusing myself again. Maybe I can just separate once a week instead of every time I wash my hair. It seems like I am focusing too much on my hair, when in locking my hair, my goal was the opposite, to not give too much attention to it. I don't know why I always do this -- find something wrong with my hair. Dammit, girl, it's not rocket science. Whatever you do to your hair, if you don't comb it, it will lock. You know that, now live it.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

My Hair Looks Good

I was in the cafeteria at work today when I saw a friend that I hadn't seen in awhile. We talked awhile to catch up. She then told me, "I love your hair. It's so ... " and then made this motion with her hands. I laughed and said thanks. My hair leaves people speechless. I later told my husband what my friend said, and he replied "You have nice hair. It looks good." *BLUSH* Of course I love my hair, but it's nice to hear other people like it too.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Freeform Dreads are Lazy

I went to a friend's birthday party this week. At the party, another person asked me questions about my hair. Simple questions like how I take care of it, how do I comb it, how do I deal with the knots in my hair.

Well, I just wash, condition, and oil it. It's pretty easy." I said.
"Well, isn't it hard to comb when you finally comb it out?"
"I don't comb it because I'm locking my hair."
"Well how will you know how big they will be, how many you'll have?" She has a worried and slightly disgusted look on her face.
Sigh. "I separate my hair after I wash it, so it will be the size I want it to be."
"Well, you know you can go to somebody who can start dreads for you, right? They will do them for you and they will look nice." Little miss expert.
"Yes, I know. But this is the way I want to do it. It's simple, and it costs less."

She didn't say anything else about that subject. Several things I want to say about this conversation. First of all, why, oh why do people who don't have dreadlocks want to give you advice on dreadlocks? I cannot count the number of times when I have told someone that I was locking my hair, and got all kinds of advice on how to start them, not to wash my hair for X weeks/months, to use beeswax, to go to so and so every 2 weeks to get my hair twisted, etc. And they don't even say it like, "so and so has locks and he told me blah blah blah." They say it like they personally have done X, Y, Z, and know for sure that it grows great locks. It irritates me to no end.

Second of all, there was this implication when talking with her that you can't just grow dreads. You have to go somewhere and get them done, or do something with the hair to have nice dreads. If not, they will look like you know what. I guess part of this is ignorance, and I can't fault her for that. If everybody she knows goes to get them done, I guess she wouldn't know another way. Maybe it's part of black women's culture that you have to go to the beauty salon and get your hair "done" every few weeks. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it out. If not wanting to go to a salon and have someone else be in control of my hair is lazy, I guess I'm lazy. If only having to wash, condition, oil, and separate is lazy, I guess I'm lazy.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Week 8 and chugging along

Here are my week 8 pics. I don't think I look any different. It's like watching paint dry taking pics so often. I'm going to start taking them once a month.

Here is my smiling face.

Hmmm ... I usually don't like how my hair looks from the side, but I like this one.

And what in the hell is that? Just kidding, I know what that thing on the side is. My hair is locking. I have a few of these throughout my hair. I can't stand looking at them, so I tuck them into my hair.

Stretching my hair out so that I can see the little monster better. The hair at the base of my head stretches to about arm pit level. About 10 inches, I'd say.

And here are a couple of pics of my outfit today. Straight in from work. My office is a business casual environment, only the upper level executives wear suits (3rd line manager and up). Usually I will wear slacks, skirts, or jeans (and shirts of course silly).

Here's my daughter making an appearance (or is she trying to make a run for it?)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Going on vacation

I'm going to visit my in-laws this Thanksgiving. And what am I thinking about? My hair, of course. How are they going to react to it? Why am I so worried about what they will think of my hair? Do I care about what my family thinks about it? No, not anymore. Not for years. I know their attitudes about nappy hair that's not combed, and it's all water under the bridge. Do I care what my manager and coworkers think about it? No, actually. I'm out and proud at work, lol. I walk up in there, and my hair is not a concern of mine, and if they look at me funny, I don't notice. Do I care what the grocery checkout girl, daycare provider, and maintenance man think about it? Doesn't even cross my mind to care. Do I care what my husband thinks about it? Yes, I do, I want to feel sexy around him. Luckily he likes it. He'll grab a handful of hair from time to time (it feels good). So, if I don't care what anybody else thinks of my hair besides my husband, why do I have a problem with how my inlaws feel about it?

Week 6 pics

Here's how my hair looks at 6 weeks. First of all, I HATE the hair shape. Ugh! But I think I can see a little difference between week 1 and now. More of my hair is grouping together. My hair is so easy to take care of. I just shampoo and condition 2-4 times a week, and separate when damp or dry. Some mornings I spray a leave-in conditioner in my hair (to help with the bedhead). Fluff and go.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

small freeform locks

Somehow, I decided that I want small locks. So, as my hair forms these little coils, I make sure that they don't join to form large locks. Meaning that I separate them after I shampoo, while my hair is only slightly damp, or even dry. Which is fine, but my hair being the length that it is, it seems to want to tangle a lot. I'll be glad when it starts locking, I think it'll be easier to separate. Plus, since I'm just separating them from the coils, I'm unsure I'm doing it correctly. I don't want them to be too small, I just can't really see the size of the base. I can't always see where to separate them. The sides don't even form coils, so how will those develop? The top is a wavier texture, so I don't really know how to separate the top either.

It's crazy, because at every step of the process, I'm doubting myself. I'm thinking that I shouldn't do small locks, that it will be too much maintenance for me keeping them separated. I'm thinking that I should not have chosen to do it freeform, because it's kinda difficult to make small locks with my length of hair starting freeform. I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how many lock inspiration pics I look at or how many forum posts I read, I really can't imagine or predict how my locks will end up. I can guide them, generally speaking, but the locks will ultimately be what they will be. They will be mine. And they will fit me, and I will love them.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I want long hair

Man, I really have a problem with short hair. (On me, not on other people.) My hair is around 10 inches now, I guess, when streched. Now it's at the point that it looks 2-3 inches. I hate that it looks so short. Yes, I've worn short hair natural before, numerous times. I've been natural for 8 years, and have cut my hair every 1-2 years after going natural. So I can deal with short hair, but I think I look better with long hair. I definitely feel more feminine with long hair. That's one reason the loose hair calls me. When I wear some natural braids, my hair hits my shoulders, and that feels nice. It's this same old feeling I described here:

Pics for the first month

Here are some pics from week one:

Here are some pics from week 4. I don't think they look that different, but I did comb my hair a couple days ago to wear it in a ponytail (can't fit it in a ponytail without it being stretched).

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Freeforming at my mom's house

It's been about 2-3 weeks since I stopped combing my hair to get locks. I took out the other braids, and I'm freeforming. I know that's the best way for me, if I can stick it out. Right now, I am comfortable with my hair. It's really easy, which I love. I'm just waiting for it to start locking.

I was reading a blog I like, and came across this:

i think freeforming is more a state of mind than anything else. it's a belief that whatever direction your hair's own nature dictates is what guides your locks. it's about understanding and accepting the "natural" state of the hair. it's about being comfortable, if not downright happy with its looks, no matter what stage of growth u are in. it's more than just not going to get the hair "done", and more than not doing regular "maintenance" on the locks. it's about believing that it's ok for the hair to appear certain ways somedays, and different on others.

I really want to cultivate this way of thinking.

I'm visiting my mom, and my family is looking at my uncombed hair. You know, it really doesn't bother me what they think about it. The crazy thing is, they think it's cool that my hair is curling up without me doing anything to it but washing it. And I was thinking that it was going to be a big deal.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Issues with locking and how to deal

I posted a question on how to stick with locking on my favorite website. Here it is: . Most of the people on there said that maybe I'm not ready to lock. I really do want to lock. I'm sitting here with braids in my hair, though, and want to take them out to start via freeform. How can I make locking work for me?

Issue: I want to take out my braids and start again via freeform
How to deal: I have this idea that freeform is the best way to lock. That I'm selling out or something if I don't do it this way. They lock the fastest. The locks are fluffier in the end. <Insert other reasons why freeforms are perfect here> The truth is that it's not perfect for me if I can't stick with it. I always stop freeforming because I honestly can't deal with the look when it starts locking. Just deal with what I have now. I can always freeform later if I want to.

Issue: I don't want to do a bunch of maintenance on my head. I'm a low maintenance girl.
How to deal: Realize that I don't have to do a bunch of maintenance on my head if I don't want to. This thread here ( shows a lady who started her locks with braids and latches on average every 3 months. I can definitely handle that. Ravenslocs, if I remember correctly, retwists every 3 months or so. And Rockinlocs and alma freeform now. So it's definitely possible, and I can still look nice with low maintenance hair.

Issue: I'm going to want to take them out when they start locking, and I have a half-locked, half-braided head.
How to deal: Suck it up. :-) That's the process. I want locked hair, don't I? I can't control how it looks completely throughout the process. Visualize the end that I want. Locked hair. Also, I can use accessories, head wraps, hats, etc. to hide my hair from myself / focus on other attributes of my appearance during this time. I just got contacts, and I'm totally feeling myself right now. Think of stuff like that.

Issue: I'm going to want to take them out when I see some cute cornrow style or great afro.
How to deal: I KNOW I don't want to deal with my loose hair on a regular basis. Remember that. Also, there are cute styles for locked hair. I can do a lock puff, I can cornrow locks too. Find styles I can do that look nice on my braids / soon-to-be-locks.

Issue: Blah blah blah <insert other reason I supposedly have to take down my hair>
How to deal: Look. I really want to finish something I start. I need to know that I can do that. Make it work.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The urge is strong to take them out

Okay, locks or loose hair. The advantage of locks is that I don't have to comb my hair. I don't like combing it. But right now, I don't like how it looks. With loose hair, I like the styles that I do (when I feel like doing them), but most of the time I don't do them. Also, my hair is damaged from impatiently pulling the comb through my hair. If I take out the baby locks, will I regret it later? Probably. I always come back to locks, because I want low maintenance long hair, and that's the only way I see that happening. The last few times I've combed out starter locks, I was tired of my hair by the time I finished combing them out. Then I would wear an afro for a few days, then put my hair back up in braids or twists for starter locks. I never did the cute styles I like (beside the afro or puff). With locks I wash, condition, towel dry, and separate. With loose hair I shampoo, condition, towel dry, detangle, moisturize, and style. That detangling and styling takes way too much time.

So what about me not liking how my hair looks. It's just that my hair is so different than what I'm used to. I love how mature locks look, but my hair is not mature. It's just like tangled matted hair at the ends, and the rest is an uncombed afro. I mean, it's exciting that my hair is locking, but this fro with locks floating on top look is not working for me. A couple of times when I went out somewhere, I put a scarf on, and that looked cute. But doing that seems like it would slow the process in the front, because after I take the scarf off, my hair in the front looks much straighter and stretched out. So that's out except for special occasions. How about tams and/or headwraps for those days? That could work. Naani has some hats I like.

You know what, though? I do love how my hair feels. And I like seeing the locks develop. I just have to keep visualizing the end result that I want. And hide my hair from myself when I am not feeling it.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Still freeforming and the kid

Well, I'm still locking. And given my history, I think that's something. Although I have had some major urges to comb my hair out, and start over with braids or twists. I just remind myself why I wanted to lock my hair this way, and look at freeform pictures and blogs to visualize the outcome that I want, and then I'm okay.

Sometimes it's hard to trust my hair to lock on its own. I see approximately 10 baby locks, which are tangled either at or close to the ends of the hair. The rest of my hair looks like it normally does when I wear a wash and go. I just can't see yet how the rest of my hair is going to group together. And I get tempted, remembering starting my hair with braids or twists. At least then I had control, and I could imagine how my hair would develop. *sigh* PATIENCE.

I was babysitting a 4 year old for a friend of mine this Thursday. During that day, we had the following conversation.

"Why do you wear your hair like that?" she asked me.

"Because I like it," I told her.

"Well, you should wear your hair in braids."

No, I was not offended by what she said. After all, she is only 4, and it's just a hairstyle she hasn't seen before. The funny thing is, a few years ago I would have been very upset by her simple statement.

Friday, February 23, 2007

pics 3 weeks in

Here are pics of my hair 3 weeks in. Before I started, my hair was about 9-10 inches. It shrunk quite a bit.

My hair is starting to group in a few different places. Already!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Thoughts about freeform locks

It's very easy to do -- and that's what I need. I am not the kind of person that likes to fiddle around with her hair. I don't know how I had the patience to deal with my loose hair for 8 years. I guess that's why I've tried to lock my hair so many times.

I'm only 3 weeks in, and I think that this time I can stick with it. My hair is already starting to group together in some places. Also, my hair does not look unkempt to me, I like the style in the meantime. And my hair is amazing me. It can lock if I just shampoo and condition it. I just need to be patient and let it happen.

It's crazy, I think that this method is best for me and my hair. There is no illusion of control as there is with other methods -- I'm just letting my hair do what it does. This helps, so I am not expecting every strand of hair to be in place. I don't have to spend hours starting my hair (or pay money to someone else to start it). I don't have to deal with the scalpy look in the beginning weeks. I don't have to worry about the hair unraveling. I don't have to wait to shampoo or condition it. I'm not worried about buildup. I won't have to spend time retwisting. I can be me.